Finding Your Eternal Soul Mate
by Bella's humanity
Summary: Ever wonder what was going through their minds when the Cullens found their one true loves? A series of one shots of finding soulmates, starting with Rosalie.
1. Chapter 1:Rosalie

1/5/08

**Finding Your Soul Mate**

_When the Cullens each found their soul mates…_

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_AN- I came upon the idea what would it be like, in their POVs, when the Cullens each found their soulmates, and I took off. I decided to start with Rosalie because I already had a specific idea of what I wanted it to be. So this will be a series which means Carlisle and (maybe) Alice get to tell their stories too. Eventually. _

_Enjoy!_

_2/23/08- I've gone through and made some changes and added a thing here and there. I took out the whole car thing and the location issues. I also fixed some grammatical errors and sentences to make it flow better. _

_**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer is a genius. It's her characters and plot and all. I claim nothing except my interpretation to the story. _

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**Rosalie's story**

I was depressed. Again.

It wouldn't go away this depression. I couldn't find a reason to live.

If I could, I would be crying right now, sobbing dreadfully. If I could, I would have lines of worry and anguish in my perfect face. If I could, I would have… no wait, I already have the lavender circles under my eyes. Although at this point, they were a deep purple, signifying my woes. I was miserable. It may not have shown physically, but emotionally…well that's another matter.

Why the depression? That's easy. Because I'm no longer human and I never will be. I will never have a "normal" life. I will never age. I will never have a human husband to love and adore me. And I will never have children of my own. No little one who resembles me and my husband. No precious babe to hold in my soft, human arms and to sing to sleep. All this is lost to me. For an eternity. Forever. Gone.

Hence my depression. No matter what I do, I cannot get over this. I wanted it all so badly, and it was in my grasp! But now I'll never get it. Any of it. No happy ending.

I was sinking deeper and deeper into my state of misery and regret. What I hated about it most, though, was what it was doing to my family. The way Esme looked at me broke my heart. She, as well as the others, was trying so hard. We would go out and shop and then hunt together, but it was to no avail. Carlisle was doing his best. He would do little things to try to cheer me up. But he was also busy at the hospital, so his efforts failed as well. As for Edward, he alone knew exactly what was in my head and what I was going through. He used this to try and help, using his dark sense of humor in an attempt to make me happy, but, like the others, it didn't work. I couldn't shake it. And eventually, it became difficult to look them in the eyes. I had been with them long enough now for it to truly hurt. I know they cared for me, and I did for them. But it wasn't enough. They watched me struggle through each day and night.

Oh the night. That was the hardest and most painful. When there were barely any distractions as in the day. It got to the point where all I would do, when the moon was high, was isolate myself in my room and do almost nothing. I was overcome by the sadness. I wanted my human life back. I wanted this damned eternity to go away. I wanted it to be a nightmare, only to wake up the next day as a human. But it wasn't.

On one particular night, I was completely focused on a specific memory of my too-short human life. I thought only about my friend, Vera, and her family, especially her little boy. Oh, that darling, precious child! He had the sweetest face, with rosy cheeks and tiny dimples that accentuated them. His eyes were a bright blue that opened wide in surprise when you tickled him. His toothless grin melted your heart every time, and his head was covered in dark brown little spiral curls that were soft to the touch. I would squeeze his chubby little thighs and kiss his little tummy so that he produced the sweetest laughter. He was all anyone could ever want. I was envious to no ends of Vera. She had the perfect family: a husband who loved and adored her, and the most angelic little baby. And I wanted it all. But I would never get it. I almost went over the edge that night. I knew that if I didn't just leave soon, I would crack.

Then, one day all too soon, it became too much, just like I knew it would. I couldn't stand still, I couldn't be here. I needed to go. I didn't care where. I just needed to leave. Even though I needed my family desperately, I couldn't do this to them anymore. I just needed to escape, at least for a short while.

"You're leaving?" Esme said dejectedly.

"I have to."

"But why? Oh Rose, please don't go. We need you."

"Rosalie," Carlisle said, "You are a part of this family. We do need you."

"I understand, I know," I replied. "But I can't look at you all without seeing the damage I'm causing. I don't want to keep doing that to you. I just need to get away for awhile."

"But you will come back," Edward said with an amount of certainty, but I could still hear the smallest hint of doubt. He could read my thoughts, but he couldn't see the future. "We want you to come back."

"I…I will. I promise. To the best of my ability, I promise. I'll come back. I just need to get out."

Carlisle looked at me with such a genuine compassion that almost broke my heart. "Please Rose. Just be careful. And remember…you're still relatively new. Just be extra careful if you get close to humans. That is, unless…"

"Oh I know Carlisle. I have no intention to harm a human. I wouldn't do that to you," I said hurriedly. I didn't want any of them thinking that I was running off to go against our "vegetarian" lifestyle. I didn't want to hurt a human. Sure I envied them, but I would never destroy their precious life. And I couldn't disappoint Carlisle like that.

As soon as I had said that, I immediately noticed Edward's reaction, small but noticeable, and I instantly regretted saying that. I knew that some years earlier, he had gone off on his own for awhile, living a different lifestyle. A normal vampire lifestyle, that is. But he had returned to Carlisle's way after a time. He called them his rebellious years. But I still felt horrible for the way I said that, making him feel guilty for his past actions and me acting like I was better than him. Another example of how I was hurting my family.

I directed my thoughts to Edward. 'I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean to say it that way. I wasn't trying to…'

"Rosalie," he said aloud, "it is ok, I know. You don't need to apologize."

"But that's the problem! I'm hurting you, all of you! As unintentional as it is, I'm still hurting you. And I don't want to keep doing that. That's why I need to go, if only for a time. I'm so sorry."

And with that, I looked at each of them one last time, then turned and flew out the door.

I didn't look back. I just ran.

My biggest worry was the same as Carlisle's. Sure I had made that promise, but sometimes there's nothing you can do when instinct takes over. I would have to be extremely cautious, being only several years into this life. I was getting better, but this was something that came with time. I was extremely vain in most ways, but I truly cared about others, and not just vampires. I didn't always just think of myself.

I ran all night, nonstop. I didn't know where I was going really, but I followed the slope of the land as it started to elevate and become more wooded. This was ideal, because all the trees would make it easier to hide from the sunlight. I followed the growing thickness of green, wanting to go in as deep as possible. I wanted to be alone in solitude. I knew this would be the best place. I just flew past the trees and wildlife and let myself go.

Time passed, and the sun went down slowly. It was then that my senses lit up and my instincts kicked in. I could smell my prey already, not holding back in the least. I soon discovered that the area was populated with bears, grizzly bears to be specific. They made a good feast, satiating my thirst a good lot.

It was like that that I spent the next few weeks. Just being free. It was exhilarating, until my depression, which never truly left, started to creep back upon me. I fought so hard. Nothing would help, not even running. I just didn't know what to do with myself. And, I thought, if I was like this now, how was I supposed to spend my eternity? I had nothing to live for, even though technically I'm not alive.

So I did nothing. I would just stare up at the full moon and sob to myself. At this point, I didn't care if I was wallowing in self-pity. Someone should feel sorry for me. I mean, just look at me! Someone so beautiful should have something or someone to live for. They shouldn't be like this. So it sounds vain to say so, I know. But it's the truth and I'll gladly admit it.

Time evaded me for days at a time, until one day, I decided to venture near humans. I wouldn't get too close, but I wanted to watch them. So I ventured near civilization and wandered upon a park. Seeing as it was summertime, there was a small gathering there. People were having a picnic of some sorts, or so it seemed, since my human memories of such things had fled me. There were many humans socializing and playing with one another. Children were running around, playing their little games as their parents watched on with a careful eye. But what really caught my eye was this one woman. She looked very young, about 17 or 18. She was sitting on a white blanket in the shade of a large oak tree, slightly away from the throng of people. She was slender, with long, white-blond hair, ivory skin, and pale blue eyes. Her hair fell in soft curls down her back and onto the blanket. She was weraing a simple pink frock that seemed to bring color to her cheeks. And in her arms was a baby who could not have been older than a year. This babe had dark curls on his little head and dimples from his smile, and the same ice blue eyes as his mother.

I watched as the woman rocked him to sleep. I could hear the love in her voice she sang him the sweetest lullaby. My heart was aching more so than ever before. Because that girl could have been me. She even resembled me with her hair color and demeanor. And her child was so like Vera's boy, Henry. Had I been human, the tears would have been rolling down my cheeks. The picture was so serene and full of a motherly love that I couldn't bear it. She had all I wanted, and I was overcome with the same painful sadness, only this was so much worse than ever before, seeing it like this.

I turned and ran, needing to leave the scene. I just had to get away from the blinding pain as I ran through the forest, wondering what I was doing on this earth to have deserved this. My stone cold heart was being ripped from my chest.

I ran for what seemed like an eternity. When I stopped, it was twilight. But the sun had disappeared, covered by dark clouds. I slowed down as the rain started pouring. I didn't know where I was, but to me, it didn't matter. I had no reason for anything, no reason to be. I wanted to fade from the earth, from this existence. I had no purpose. I was giving up on all hope of a recovery from my sorrow, my pain.

It was then that I smelled the blood. Rain always seems to intensify smell, and I could surely smell blood. A tremor passed through my body, because this was no animal blood. It was human.

I almost started to panic. I stopped breathing and started running again, trying to get away from the scent. That was when I heard the screams. They were still far off, but I could hear them. Faint at first, but louder with every second that I ran towards them. They were horrifying. They were screams of agony. And I couldn't ignore them.

I tested the air, breathing through my nose tentatively, only to be hit hard with the scent of fresh blood. I immediately stopped breathing again. My mind turned over the possibilities. I could turn around and run away from the temptation, or I could help the person who was emitting the terrible shrieks. I had just fed several times over, but I knew my resistance was not very strong yet. But I couldn't leave them to die, when I could save their life. Remembering the mother and child, I sped off towards the smell and the screams. What I came upon was not what I expected in the least.

When I finally arrived at the scene, I was shocked. There was a young man lying on the ground, covered in blood from the gashes that covered his entire body. He lay there trembling. His screams had almost stopped, and he was moaning now, which I knew was a bad sign. But what I was seeing was his attacker. It was the largest grizzly bear I had ever seen, its claws were covered in the man's blood. It was about ready to finish him off.

Before I could even think, I took out the bear, but I did not spill his blood. If I had spilled the blood, I would have drunk it, opening my senses. And I know I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from drinking the human blood, even though it was already exposed. So I was careful not to bite the bear. Instead I broke all his bones and beat him until he was dead.

When I was done, I rushed back to the man, being careful to take no breath. He was covered in blood and shaking badly, his body covered in the wounds from the bear. Just by looking at him, I knew he was going to die if no one helped him. And then I looked at his blood-stained face and my heart melted.

It was so like little Henry's and his hair was dark and curly like Henry's also. He was young, no older than his early twenties, I guessed. It was then that he shifted and opened his eyes slightly. He gazed up at me through squinted eyes and whispered, "Help me. Angel, please help me!" and then fell into the unconscious. I was speechless and in awe at the feelings inside me. This man touched me in a way I had never known. My still heart felt alive. I knew what I was going to do in that instant, as crazy as it was.

I wanted him. It was probably the most selfish thing I had ever done, but I wanted this man more than anything. I couldn't let this man who reminded me of Henry die like this. Not when I wanted him with me. I was selfish. But I was going to take him to Carlisle so he could change him into a vampire. For me. So selfish...

First, I rid what was left of the bear carcass. I hid it away. His family, if he had one, would think that he had died. I felt bad for this, but he would die without my help any way. I was this man's only hope. And he was now mine. I gently managed to pick up his mangled body in my arms and dashed away.

I ran faster and harder than I'd ever run before, which is saying something for a vampire, while carrying the man, who was not exactly lightweight. It took all of the determination and will-power I possesed and more to keep from drinking his blood. The fire in the back of my throat was raging every second of the way.

But I saw something in his face that kept me going. I could do this.

After running all night and into the next day, I finally made it home. As I neared the house, I shouted,

"Carlisle! Come quick!"

He was there in less than a heartbeat, his mouth falling open when he saw what was in front of him.

"Please," I said, "Save him. For me. I've never wanted anything more. I need him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Just hurry please. I know he's dying quickly."

I carried him into the den and set him on the couch. Esme and Edward were already there, their eyes wide with surprise. Of course, Edward knew all that was going on in my mind and my reasons.

"Mauled by a bear, eh?" he chuckled.

"It's not funny," I spit back.

"Sorry, I know."

I watched then as Carlisle bit him, on the neck, at the wrists. In no less than a minute, the man's screams filled the house. I cringed, for it brought back the memories of my own pain. No vampire could ever forget the pain of transformation. It's the strongest human memory we had.

While he writhed and shrieked with pain, Carlisle cleaned the blood off of him to make it easier on the rest of us. As I watched on, Esme put her hands on my shoulders.

"It is good to have you back, Rose. We missed you so much."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's good to be home."

She smiled and squeezed my shoulders gently.

"If he is what you need, then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Esme. I do need him. I just can't explain it."

"Sometimes, there is no explanation for these things. There doesn't need to be. Love is enough."

For three days, I sat with this man, whose name I had yet to learn, and held his hand while he screamed out. I soothed him, telling him that it would be okay, and that I was here with him and what he was becoming. Eventually his screams stopped and he stopped thrashing. I knew his transformation was nigh to finished. I lowered my head down against his chest to listen to his last heartbeat, a sound I will never forget.

It was then that he opened his eyes for the first time. I felt myself falling, and falling hard. Something inside me stirred, as if something wonderful was awakening. I could feel the pain evaporating with his smile. He reached up and touched my face with his fingers, an expression of wonder on his face. And then he spoke.

"My angel."

I was in love. I didn't even know his name, but I had found my reason to be. This existence would never make me happy, but I had finally found a way to go on, in this man. I was completely, totally in love.

He spoke again asking, "May I know the name of my savior?"

I giggled and replied, "Rosalie."

He stared at me. "Rosalie," he sighed. "Perfect."

I sighed as well and said, "And may I know the name of the man who has captured my heart?"

He grinned, showing off his dimples. "Emmett," he said.

There was no one but us. I forgot where I was and who was there. I only saw Emmett. He was everything I had ever wanted, if I had known myself well enough to know what I truly wanted, needed.

He spoke then. "You have saved me in every way possible and now you're giving me your heart as well. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

"You saved me."

"I saved you?" he said, looking confused, "But you saved me, from the bear. I was almost dead. How could I have possibly saved you?"

"You have saved my soul, Emmett. I was living without a reason, going on with out any sense of purpose. I was depressed, drowning in my sorrows, on the edge of losing myself, until I found you. You have given me hope once more. I may never like this way of life, but as long as I have you, I don't need anything else. You have saved me from losing myself."

"Oh, Rose," he murmured. "I love you. I want to stay with you. Forever."

"I love you too and I don't want you to ever leave me," I whispered in reply. I had never known anything so wonderful.

Suddenly I remembered where we were. I quickly looked around and noticed that my family had left the room to give us privacy. I was almost going to call them back, but I didn't want to, at least not yet. I just wanted to be with Emmett, and bask in the love that was radiating from him. I was glowing with happiness, something that I had long missed. And with that, we both leaned in for a kiss, setting fire to our love and our passion.

This was my eternity.

This was my reason and my hope.

Here, in this man, my Emmett, laid my destiny.

My _forever_.

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	2. Chapter 2:Carlisle

AN-_ Sorry this took so long to get (for the few or none who may actually care). My life is hectic!! I've barely had time to breathe. But here is part two, just as I promised. I hope it does Carlisle justice. I did alter a few things though. The AN at the end shall explain. _

_**Disclaimer: Of course these characters and all belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. I claim none of it, only my take on it. **_

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**Carlisle's Story**

Something was wrong.

Well, maybe not wrong, but something was off, like I was missing something. I could not put a name to this strange longing. But I shouldn't want anything. I had all I ever wanted, or so I thought.

I had the perfect job. I got to save countless lives day by day. This was the only way I saw fit to live. If I was damned, then I needed to do everything in my power to make the best of the life that has been bestowed upon me. Plus, with my heightened skills, I could do things that human doctors could not. And I loved what I did. The hospital now brought me comfort. I had gained near-to-perfection self control over my desires.

There were few to no temptations any more. I could now feel at ease in the place where blood constantly dwelled out in the open. Though it had been so long since I was human, there were times when I could almost forget what I was and feel normal. My son wondered how I did it.

Oh, my _son_. I felt comfortable enough to call him so. Edward was dearer to me than I could say. His goodness shone through despite everything else. Although I knew someone so kind and good never deserved this existence, I did not regret the decision to change him at all. I had longed wished for a companion who knew the truth of myself and lived as I did, off the blood of animals. Now I had Edward, who was more than that. He could read minds, and therefore knew most every thought of mine, in turn knowing me to a greater extent than anyone else could. And although he was still new, only three years to this life and to this way of living, he tried so hard, just for me. I knew he looked up to me. Our bond was deeper than any human father and son's could ever be. He looked up to me with the utmost respect and I had the greatest admiration for him. He was exactly what I had been searching for. What else could I possibly need?

Yet, that seemed to be the problem. Here I was, in all happiness, yet not. I still felt that something was missing. Wasn't Edward enough? I knew the answer would come to me one way or another.

Edward and I were living in Ashland, Wisconsin. We had only moved there recently, since it had been time to move once again. But this was my first move with Edward, meaning I had one more person to protect from the human laws. It was a new experience for both of us, but we managed.

We had found a small cottage on the outskirts of town that was just right for us. I still wanted to keep Edward a good distance from the bulk of civilization. He was improving, but it was still early for him. That being said, I wasn't going to let him attend school yet. We sometimes fought over this because he felt ready, but I didn't want to push his limits too soon. As much as I loved him, he was stubborn as anything and absolutely would not relent. I did feel bad about it though, so I chose to take private calls at homes instead of work in the hospital, which gave me more time with Edward.

Being with my son so often, I was able to watch him. I noticed him struggling inwardly. I knew he knew that I was thinking about him, so one day I just asked him out loud.

"Edward, you know what I have been thinking. Will you tell me what is bothering you? I cannot read your mind."

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I don't mean to be like this. It's just…well…Chicago had been my home for my whole life. I still miss it. But mostly I miss my parents. It gets harder to remember them everyday. I have to struggle to bring my mother's face to my mind or the laughter of my father at the family dinner…"

"Oh Edward," I interjected, "It's my fault. I know I took you away from everything you knew, that is my fault and mine alone. I only wish I could have saved your parents."

"No Carlisle, you're wrong. You saved me. I wasn't ready to stop living. There were so many things I wanted to do with my life, and still do. Now I can do them and so much more. And you are the best father anyone could ever want. But a part of me will always miss them, my real parents. What troubles me is that I spent seventeen years with them and now my memories of them are hazy and few. That is not your fault. I blame you for nothing. I am truly happy with you. Please don't doubt it."

There was nothing more to be said. But I still felt bad. Not long afterward, I decided to buy Edward a gift. Since he stayed home much of the time now, I bought him a new piano. I had never really been into music myself, but it was something Edward was passionate about. Not sure of his knowledge of music either, I bought him a few books on music theory, music composition, and on pianos, which explained the necessary care and repairs such as tuning. Edward was elated when I presented them to him. He reminded me of a child on Christmas. He dove into the books straight away and finished them in no time, given his vampire speed. He then checked out the piano and made sure it was in good order. I stayed to watch him play for a little. I was in awe at what I saw and heard.

Edward had told me he had been an accomplished musician in his human life, but when he became a vampire, it must have enhanced, because the sound coming out of the piano was incredible. His eyes were just as wide in amazement as mine. His joy was my joy.

I just sat listening to him as worked out some melodies of his own. I was more than content and grateful I could make Edward forget his worries for now. But it didn't erase that nagging that always seemed to appear at odd times. I felt like something was missing once again. This time, though, Edward heard my thoughts and questioned them.

"Carlisle, what do you mean something is missing? I've heard you think this before, but I don't understand."

"That's just it, Edward. I don't know. It feels like…like an empty space inside me, in my heart. But I have all I could ever want. I have you and I love you like a son. And seeing you happy is my goal."

"But what of your happiness Carlisle? You speak of mine and say it gives you the same joy. But it that enough? I want to see you happy. You speak of us as a family. Have you considered that we have yet to complete this family? Maybe it is a different kind of love you seek: a woman's love."

He surprised me with this. I had not thought of this, yet Edward was perceptive enough to have seen this. If my heart was still beating, it would have leapt at this epiphany. I had not considered that at all. Did I need a woman? I had Edward and I loved him dearly, but I also wanted to love someone in a romantic way, someone who would complete me.

It was good to finally understand what that feeling had been, but I was not about to go looking for love. I was truly content for now. But if love came upon me, I would not deny it entry into my life.

The only time I can remember anything that came close to love was about ten years ago. I was working at a small hospital in Columbus, Ohio and had yet to find Edward. It was past twilight one day when I was working at the hospital, when a young girl of about sixteen was brought in with a broken leg. Her name was Esme. When she saw me, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly. I was used to seeing women react to me in this manner, but her innocence and sweetness captured me. I was immediately drawn in as I tended to her leg. Every time I would ask her a question, a blush would settle into her cheeks and spread down her neck. She would duck her head, hiding her face by her caramel-colored waves, and answer me in a shy, sweet little voice. Everything about her charmed me and made me feel as if I were alive again. I had been sad to see her leave and I could see she was too. She pretended it still hurt whenever I said I was finished, attempting to buy a few more minutes with me. But eventually her parents whisked her away, since they had come some distance to get there. Since it had been my last month in that hospital, I never saw her again. I only now realized that I wished I could see her again.

Edward saw this memory play in my head and grinned at me, but didn't say anything. He knew that I wished I could find this girl again. But that was almost ten years ago. By now, she would be twenty-six and probably married with a family. I sighed at that thought. But I wondered, would I have loved her enough to change her, or were the memories I had of her just memories of a pretty face and nothing more? Then again, I had seen many a lovely face, but none stirred my soul as hers did. But there was nothing I could do anyway, no way to find her.

A few uneventful days passed by in what seemed like no time at all for someone who is immortal. But since my epiphany, the memory of the girl, Esme, had been in the back of mind, if not the focus of most of my thoughts. I could not stop thinking of her, and wondered why all of a sudden I was. But then, one day, it seemed as if my thoughts beckoned her to me.

I had been at the hospital earlier in the day to see if anything could be done there, for I sometimes would work inside the hospital, especially on sunny days. They told me that one of their doctors was out for a few days, so they needed me to make some house calls on his patients. Since it was a cloudy day, I took on the job, took the papers and left.

I only had four clients to see, so it took me almost no time at all to make my rounds. When I was approaching the last house, I was trying to come up with something I could do with Edward when I returned home. So it was not until I pulled up to the house and parked my car that I got the feeling that something was off here.

The house itself was outside Ashland. My papers said that it was the home of a Mrs. Evenson, a war widow and schoolteacher, who had just given birth to a child no less than three days ago. With this in mind, I walked up the small pathway, when I noticed that the front door was ajar. I still knocked on the door anyway, but received no greeting, so I gently pushed the door open. I peered into the little house, gazing about at the furnishings. It was fairly simple. In the front room, there was merely a table and chair, a small stove in the corner, and a few other things. There was a door on the back wall that was open as well. I could see a bed and a small wooden cradle. But there was no occupant in the house. Where were Mrs. Evenson and her child?

"Hello?" I called out, but I received no reply.

"This is Dr. Cullen. Mrs. Evenson, are you here?"

I still was not answered. So I entered the house cautiously. I could see that the place was a bit of a mess. There were clothes strewn on the floor, and some food had been knocked over. The lamp on the table was on its side and there were papers scattered about. Whatever had happened, it did not look good.

Then something caught my eye in the bedroom. Since I still did not see the woman I walked in. What I saw was heartbreaking. The little baby was lying there dead. Just in case, I gently felt for a pulse. There was none, but the child was still warm, so he must have died within the hour. I was too late to save him.

Before I had time to wonder where the mother had gone I heard a blood-curdling scream, coming from a distance. Since there were no other houses in the area, I took a fair guess that this was the mother screaming over her dead child. I left the house and ran as fast as I could without looking inhuman. As I ran, I took in my surroundings. The house was on a rocky cliff overlooking the wide bay. At this point, I did not see Mrs. Evenson anywhere, which only brought me to one conclusion. I reached the edge of the cliff's peak and looked down, only to find that I was right. And I did not want to be.

I could see her at the bottom, broken and unmoving, lying face down in the sand, with the waves washing over her. It was extremely unlikely that she survived, given the height of the cliff, but miracles could happen. I checked again to make sure no humans were around, and jumped, landing next to the woman. I quickly bent down to inspect her, even though she was clearly in a bad condition. I could tell that her legs, and back were broken, and no doubt had trauma to her head. I reached down to turn her over, brushing her hair out of her face. I gasped at what I saw.

It was Esme! The dear, beautiful girl I had taken care of so long ago! But here she was, now a woman, lying unconscious in my arms. I could not believe it! My heart nearly shattered at the sight of her like that: broken, with her lovely face contorted by pain.

I felt the inside of her small wrist for a pulse. Miraculously, I could feel her vein pulsing underneath my finger, but only just. With the amount of damage her body had taken, I didn't think she had much time to live. So what was I to do? Somehow, my heart already knew that answer.

_Esme_ was the answer. She was what I had been longing for, my unnamed desire. Holding her in my arms changed everything. Now that I had her, I never wanted to let her go. She was not meant to die here. She was meant to be with me, for eternity.

I had no time to lose. I gathered her in my arms gently, so as not to further hurt her. She needed to stay alive on her own for just a little longer, just so I could take her home and bite her. I ran up the path that led from the beach to her house, and set her down on the backseat of my car.

Because I was not sure what contact she had with her family, I left a note for them, saying that I had found the child dead, which caused Esme to run and jump off the cliff into the sea, making me too late to save her. I could not find her body, so I buried the child beneath the tree outside the house. When I finished the note, I did just that. With the babe inside a small box I found inside the house, I dug a shallow grave in a matter of seconds, put the box in, covered it, and marked it with a stone. With that done, I was at my car in an instant and drove home.

As soon as I was near the house, I knew that Edward would know. When I pulled up, I saw him waiting at the door.

"Is there blood?" he called out.

"No. It's safe."

"Are you really going to change her? This is the girl?"

"Yes."

And with that I took her down into the cellar. I shut both doors behind me so the screams would not be heard. There was no turning back now as I sunk my teeth into the soft flesh on her neck. I tasted blood, but I spit it out, not wanting her like that. It's not that I couldn't resist, because I could, easily, but rather, that's not the way I wanted her. I wanted her in so many other ways, but this was the only way to make it so I could have her.

My mouth found her lips as I kissed her gently, biting her bottom lip as to inject my venom into her blood. I came alive. I kissed her again, more fiercely, biting her again. She stirred, moaning as her heart pumped the poison through her veins, setting her blood on fire. My lips were at her wrist, kissing and biting her once more. She opened her mouth, emitting the most painful sound my ears had ever heard: her pain.

I pressed her to my chest, whispering that it would be alright, that I was here. I was fighting an inward battle. The more seconds that ticked by, the more my passion grew. I loved this woman, yet I was damning her to this life. I wouldn't have chosen this life for anyone, including myself. But I wanted her. When I changed Edward, it was because I needed a companion, someone who lived as I did and knew me, and with him, I got more than that. I got a son. But this was different. This was selfish. I wanted Esme. I wanted every part of her. There was nothing I wouldn't do to have her with me. All I had to do was look at her and I knew. I could see everything I ever wanted in her. Yet it killed me to see her writhe in agony, knowing I was the cause of it. I could have let her die there on the beach. But I didn't. Now there was no turning back. And I didn't want to.

I sat there as she shrieked, holding her close and telling her what she was becoming and that I was here and that I wasn't leaving. I sat like that for three long days, not moving, just holding her. Eventually, the screaming stopped and her breathing slowed. I gently lay her on the mattress, waiting for her transformation to finish. Her skin had become pale as the moonlight and hard as diamonds. I thought she couldn't be more beautiful as human, but I was wrong. Her face was perfect, every human flaw erased. Her hair was caramel-colored and came down in gentle waves. I ran my fingers through the silky locks as I took in her figure, with perfection in every curve. I was in awe at the woman before me.

She was almost through. I leaned my head down near her chest to listen to her final heartbeat. With the last arrhythmia, her transformation was complete.

I knew it was over. But I didn't know how she would react. She hadn't even looked at me. This whole time, her eyes had been wrenched shut, ever since I found her. I wanted her to see me. I wanted to know if she would accept me and want me as I wanted her. It scared me not to know. I had never been so afraid in my entire existence, but somehow I found the courage.

"Esme," I said softly.

Her eyes fluttered once, twice, and then opened. For a moment, she had a look of confusion. Then her eyes met mine and a smile spread across her face, warming my heart. She remembered; she knew me. That alone brought joy to my features. Then she spoke.

"Please, tell me I'm not dreaming. For ten years, I have seen your face in my mind, never forgetting its beauty. And now you're here. How can this be? I must be dead."

"You're not dead. Well, not in the way you think. Oh, Esme, I never forgot you either. How could I? You face has followed me, always in my memory. And now that I have you, I never want to let you go. But I must tell you what you are now."

"I don't understand."

"You were about to die. And I did the most selfish thing I possibly could. I made it so you wouldn't die. Now you cannot ever die. You see, I bit you and now you're a vampire, as am I."

"A vampire?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry. But I wanted you. I want you with me, forever."

For a fleeting moment, I thought she would scream and run. But then she looked at me with a love in her eyes that I would never forget.

"Carlisle, I love you. If I can be with you, then it doesn't matter what I am. You are all I need. Please, let me stay with you."

"That's all I needed to know."

My lips were on hers before she could move. And this time, she responded. I was lost in her. The world slipped away as passion emerged. The longing that had been buried deep inside me sprung upward as I poured all that I was into her. Nothing mattered but us, one entity, so pure and strong, burning with a love I never knew existed.

This was destiny. Love truly was all that mattered. And I would not have it any other way.

For the first time, I was grateful for what I was, because if I was not immortal, I would never have found Esme, and she was worth it all.

* * *

_Having read the lexicon throroughly so as to get the details correct, I only changed the fact that Carlisle actually found Esme. I know the lex says she came to the hospital, but I thought this was much more romantic. And I didn't give any insight as to Esme's thoughts really, but she does love Carlisle as much as he loves her (obviously) but as said (I believe on the lex, PC#1), Esme doesn't take the whole vampire thing as in stride as Emmett did, but she was happy to be with Carlisle. I hope that clears everything up. I tried to make the locations as correct as possible too, but I'm not perfect. And I wanted her house to be near the cliff (which is actually a real cliff. I looked it up.) So just tell me what you think! Oh and sorry if I missed anything editing-wise. Once again, I'm not perfect. _


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